Tips for Reality Show Wannabes

THIS SHOW MIGHT MAKE YOU A STAR, BUT PROBABLY NOT

There are two types of reality shows: career-based and the others. Career-based shows include Top Chef, The Apprentice (not the Celebrity one), American Idol or America’s Next Top Model. For those shows, winners compete for the opportunity to advance their career and hopefully achieve a lifelong dream that will also line their pockets.

Think of your favorite career-based reality shows and think of the winner of season one (the person who has the longest time to make a name for themselves). What are they doing now? Absolutely there are successes: Kelly Clarkson. But there are so many others that have missed the mark of stardom: Adrienne Curry. In fact, which of the models have you seen in a major ad campaign that wasn’t awarded to them as a prize? I’m not speaking in absolutes, I’ve seen Eva on Y&R, Yaya on AMC, Yohanna on the Style network. But for a show with top model in the title, are they in Elle? Vogue? Is anyone the face of Chanel? Yes American Idol winner Jennifer Hudson won an Oscar and Fantasia is on Broadway, but on the flip side, more people can point out Clay Aiken’s baby than they can his album cover.

So the show may make you a star, but it probably won’t. Especially if you want to be a singer/actor/dancer after living in a house with strangers, or being stuck on an island with strangers. Who is going to give you a shot after watching you throw back tequila shots and being carried out of the club? It doesn’t work for Lindsay Lohan and it’s not going to work for you.

YOU WILL NOT FIND LOVE

A man or woman who thinks it is a good idea to shop for a mate like Carrie Bradshaw shops for shoes is an ass. Love is hard I know, but expecting 20 people to come on TV to fall in love with you while you have the opportunity to skip and bounce from one to another is about stroking his or her ego.

EVERYONE HAS A ROLE TO PLAY

Every reality has slots to fill, especially ones that drop people into closed quarters without a TV or a job or something to do during the day. The best reality stars know they were chosen to play a part and they play it. The skank of the house knows he or she has to sleep with 5 people before the show wraps. The muscle neck will punch holes in the wall and throw chairs. The person who has personified this is Omorosa. She parlayed her stint on the Apprentice into another reality show, a boob job and a book — based on a part she played on a “reality” show.

Each show has its own set of characters, and the soon you accept your role, the longer your 15 minutes of fame will last.

DON’T TAKE YOURSELF TOO SERIOUSLY

We aren’t. Viewers are looking for entertainment and producers are looking to sell advertising time. No matter how hard you try, you will always be the person who won (insert reality show name here). You can invent flying cars, create a high heel shoes that are sexy and comfortable, and cure world hunger. Somewhere in your bio and/or your caption there will be the reference to the show that you won. Embrace it. Own it, and don’t expect us to see you as much more than that.

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~ by 2muchtv on April 9, 2009.

One Response to “Tips for Reality Show Wannabes”

  1. I don’t know, I think that all this rash around the reality shows is overestimate grossly! Those types of show only promote further degradation of society.

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